13 Nov 2014/Wasp and Butterfly

My husband, Ron, has been ill almost all of his stay in India. What they say about India, “It cannot give you what you do not already have inside you.” Also, “If there is anything inside you that you have not dealt with, it will come forward and, here in India, it will be intensified.
So, here we are, in Lucknow, India. My husband has gone back to the United States once already, where he got healthy, after contracting an illness he did not know he had till he got there. He just knew he could not take India any longer, and needed to go.
Upon his return, two months later, he immediately received a reoccurrence of the MRSA upon stepping into the Animal Ashram I had been volunteering at for several months. We leave, knowing that his health is more important, and that my work there is done.
Then, after just recovering from the MRSA, he contracts another illness. This time it is with a mosquito-borne illness, I had previously written about. (See Mosquito) Then, yet again, he contracts an illness now from the waters and food through poor hygiene. Amobeosis is the name. Once we touch base with what the Spiritual Cause is at that time, he gets better. He feels great for a day or two, then something irritates or angers him, it takes no time at all till his fever comes back and he is ill again, stomach cramps and all.
So, one can imagine, being his wife, and the Spiritual Leader of our non-profit organization, I can easily dip into the guilt of feeling “responsible” for his being here, “responsible” for his getting ill. Even when he tells me, “I’ve come willingly, and this is part of my journey.” At the same time, I feel the guilt emotions of, “Drop what you are doing, and go back to the States with him, you are his wife.”
So, with all this having been shared, we now go back to the Wasp and the Butterfly. The day before this latest strike of my husband’s illness, we were having a conversation about going to Varanasi. This is a trip we have been attempting to make for many months. for me, it is about fulfilling a promise to come back. As we are talking, a very large Wasp comes flying in the room. Ron begins to panic, and I calmly state……it will fly in, and fly right back out, please do not disturb it. The Wasp does exactly that, It flys by us, goes to the window, circles around and flys right back out the door. The Wasp is a symbol of independent feminine energy. and staying in determined focus on the task at hand. Er go right back to our task at hand, discussing about our trip, and our mission of carrying out the vision.
The very next day, Ron is back in the bed. I, however, instead of getting disappointed and reacting to the lower vibrations, stay positive in knowing his health and wholeness. I begin writing for prayer support from several prayer partners. As I leave the room, determined to stay positive, I step out of the room to see a beautiful orange Butterfly resting at the doorstep. Orange being the color or of Joy, and the Sacral Chakra; and the Butterfly begin a symbol of Transformative Flight, I know that I have come to a beautiful place in our journey here. I ask the Butterfly if I can take Its picture. Then, just after taking the picture, I hear the Butterfly share with me that I have received Its message, and It takes off to fly to the garden.
The more I stay in a positive uplighting feeling of Joy, keeping the vibrations in this higher state, the more quickly the illness will pass. Within several hours, my husband is back to feeling much better, and all the anger from before has completely dissipated.
So, instead of feeding the illness and giving it power, with our anger, disappointment, and worry, we have begun transforming it, and giving it Wings of Joy, sending it back to the garden to bring us fertile growth, beauty, and balance with our determination stay focused on the message it bring us.
MyShell Howler, RScP, OAC
http://www.ahowan.org

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